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Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines, by Nic Sheff
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This New York Times bestselling memoir of a young man’s addiction to methamphetamine tells a raw, harrowing, and ultimately hopeful tale of the road from relapse to recovery and complements his father’s parallel memoir, Beautiful Boy.
Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and Ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling, heartbreaking, and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. As we watch Nic plunge the mental and physical depths of drug addiction, he paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. It's a harrowing portrait—but not one without hope.
- Sales Rank: #9493 in Books
- Brand: Atheneum Books for Young Readers
- Published on: 2009-01-06
- Released on: 2009-01-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x 1.00" w x 5.50" l, .70 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 352 pages
- Atheneum Books
From Publishers Weekly
Sheff relates his personal struggle with drugs and alcohol in this poignant and often disturbing memoir. Paul Michael Garcia is the perfect choice for narrator; his stern and entirely believable voice captures the desolation in Sheff's tale. His reading is wonderfully underplayed, and necessarily so. Garcia becomes Sheff, offering a gritty and raw performance that demonstrates just how dire the circumstances surrounding Sheff's existence really were. A Ginee Seo Books hardcover. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"Nic Sheff's wrenching tale is told with electrifying honesty and insight." -- Armistead Maupin, author of The Night Listener and Michael Tolliver Lives
"Difficult to read and impossible to put down." -- Chicago Tribune
"Tweak is...Bukowski and Burroughs, the heart to his dad's head -- and the kid can write." -- Seattle Weekly
"An unflinching chronicle of life as an addict." -- U.S. News & World Report
About the Author
Nic Sheff is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. Still in his early twenties, he continues to fight daily battles with his addictions. His writing has been published in Newsweek, Nerve, and the San Francisco Chronicle. Tweak is his first book.
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
A good look at the other side
By Consumer
Having just read “Beautiful Boy” I wasn’t sure if I could stomach “Tweak”, but as many other reviewers stated, it’s a page turner and I couldn’t put it down. Having been on both sides of the aisle I was reminded of the twisted thinking in an addict's world. You have a bond with drug friends that you can’t imagine giving up any more than the drug itself. But then that’s part of what makes it so hard to kick, just when you’re feeling at your lowest physically and emotionally, you have to give up all your “friends” at the same time. And by then you’ve burned all your bridges so there is no one else to turn to – not waiting for you with open arms anyway. You can’t stand to be around family, people outside the drug world, because their judgment forces you to look in the mirror and that’s way too ugly. So you lash out, spewing hatred to drive them away. I’m glad I read the book. It provides the reader with an insight into an addict’s way of thinking, which if you’re dealing with one, helps you understand their singularly focused bent on self-destruction. The kid’s no Dickens, but he’s very young still. Here’s hoping he’ll make it once and for all and have something else to write about one of these days. In the meantime, he’s done some good for the rest of us trying to figure out an answer to unanswerable.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
This is Reality
By S. MEYER
True--his writing needs polishing and more experience but I believe this book is an accurate accounting of what it was like for this young man to work through his addictions. To the non-addicted, the voice of addiction draws the person in . . . it may seem like lack of impulse control but it goes so much deeper than that. As with his father's book BEAUTIFUL BOY I would read and cry . . . read more . . . and cry. The stories are heart wrenching, guttural and real. Nic's constant quest for drugs, his continuous shooting up, his apparent lack of concern for anyone else may seem totally selfish, self-centered and egotistic . .. but that voice of addiction is a powerful force and for those of us who don't have these addictions it may seem like more a problem of self-control. If it were that easy, rehab centers wouldn't exist. I admire both Nic and his father for sharing with us their experiences. Addiction has had a major impact on my life and I know we all do the best we can at the time. As they say in Al-Anon . . . take what you need and leave the rest . . . that's the way I approached this book and I gained so much insight.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Using is not as much fun as it used to be!
By Barbara S. Reeves
For another perspective on "Beautiful Boy", David Sheff's memoir about his son's addiction, read "Tweak", the memoir by Sheff's son Nic. After reading Beautiful Boy, we know what Nic's father went through during Nic's many relapses. Now we can see what was really happening with Nic in "Tweak".
Tweak starts off with Nic arriving in San Francisco after 18 months of sobriety in LA, where he had a good sponsor and a job at a rehab in Malibu and three thousand dollars in the bank. He starts shooting meth and heroin with a couple of street kids and they plan to use his savings to bankroll a dealing syndicate which is almost comical if it weren't so pathetic. He discovers that using is not as fun as it used to be.
It actually sounds like a hellish existence, but something inside him is drawn to life on the edge. Drugs are fun and feel good when we first start using, but it's like we have a gas tank of good times and when that runs out, we can't refuel no matter how hard we try. When the party's over, it's over, then the use becomes compulsive and insane. When we reach that point, it's like Nic says, it's like driving a car with no brakes.
After thirty days of living on the streets, he reaches the bottom of this cycle and finally prays to a god he doesn't believe in. Miraculously, the next thing we know, he's in rehab again. He starts recovering again in LA, with his same sponsor and he somewhat earns the trust of his family again. However, he has a hard time with the "God talk" of his sponsor and the twelve steps. He can't seem to get past step three: "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."
A year later, you can see him about to relapse from a mile away. He rekindles a relationship with a washed-up, burn-out celebrity of sorts, which everyone warns him against. She's a status symbol for him, and he falsely believes his life will be perfect if he can have her, but, emotionally, she's unattainable. He changes sponsors and quickly relapses, and in no time, he and his girlfriend are spiraling down the drain. His description of this period is sickening. There's blood, seizures, abscesses, psychoses, puke, police and all around discombobulation, all in a matter of months.
The book ends with him going into a long-term rehab, and it seems as if he finally gets it this time, but we'll see. There's more of this story left to tell.
I can identify a lot with Sheff. I used to like some of the same music he likes: Mr. Bungle, John Zorn, Tom Waits, and some of the same authors: William S. Burroughs, Dostoyevsky, J. D. Salinger. And he perfectly describes the same feelings I've experienced: "My insides felt like they were consuming themselves. I felt fear for no reason, panic in response to everyday situations, and of course, that terrible, violent self-loathing that controlled my life...Having people mad at me is my worst fear. I can't stand it. There's this crazy fear of being rejected by anyone - even people I don't really care about." Thank God I don't feel those things anymore. I haven't used in almost seven years, but those words, those feelings are all too real for me.
David Allan Reeves
Author of "Running Away From Me"
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